Friday, March 13, 2009

Monk It

I have too much blog material. Can you believe that? Usually I have nothing to write about. But now I have too much. Too much, as in there is so much crap going on in our lives and I can't even find time to blog. I could probably find a few minutes to type, but I don't have time or energy to put it together in my head. Its a blessing. And a curse. But mostly just a curse because there is just too much to deal with besides all the daily grind stuff like dentist appointments, school volunteering, basketball practices and games, track practice, swim practice and meets and . . . well. You get it. Regular stuff.

Maybe I should switch to Twittering instead. Then I could send out Tweets with just the facts of my life. Here's how it would have progressed over the last couple months:

Woo hoo! Heading to Cayman in a few days. Can't wait!

Scratch Cayman. Taz got arrested 4 bringing a knife to bus stop. Yes, bus stop not school. No, he didn't do anything but bury it. And yes, ARRESTED.

Tweet from juvie. Taz is spending the night.

How do lawyers sleep at night?? Four thousand dollars but that only covers UP TO IF he goes to trial. Effing shyster.

Got Taz out by the skin of his teeth.

Cayman back on. We have GOT to get out of here for a while.

SSB has had a fever since we landed. Way to ruin it, Honey!

Hey look! A barracuda just ate my toenail as it floated by him.

SSB's fever has finally broke last night. According to the mattress, so did about 50 water balloons.

Just spent $80 in cell phone charges because of a Bugaboo meltdown.

We're back! We sobered up long enough to get on the plane & come home. Should have stayed drunk. I mean should have stayed in Cayman. No. I mean both.

Taz is under house arrest. Isn't that more of a punishment for us??

Pootie Pie's guinea pig screams and jumps around all day banging against his cage. WTF?

Taz has officially been expelled from school and has to go to alternative school, which we have to drive him to and from. More punishment for US.

Got a note that Snick needs tutoring in writing. Not just writing as in composing stories, but as in PRINTING WORDS. He's in 4th grade.

Bunny has a cavity between her front teeth and has to go under general anesthesia to get it fixed. SSB is a mess.

Bman had field trip to see the play Stellaluna. He liked the book but hated the play. He hates it when real people act stuff out.

Tweeting from jewelry party. I don't wear jewelry but they have the free drinks.

Haven't heard from lawyer, DA or probation officer. Why is Taz being punished without even being charged???

Went hiking with the kids and didn't lose any of them. For long. Got a text from Dupree from softball tourny that said he broke his face. Whats that all about?

Dupree broke his face. He won't go to the ER because he doesn't have insurance. Or money.

Its official! He broke his face. In like 10 places. Going to a maxillofacial surgeon tomorrow. Got Mom's cc number.

Pootie's guinea pig's hair is falling out. I wonder if he has mites.

Dupree needs surgery or his eye will fall down into his sunken cheek. Anyone remember The Goonies? Sloth love Chunk!!

Suspicious Facebook entries on Bugaboo's page. Are she and the Cradle Robber doing it?

Got rates for self-pay patients. Surgery will be about $6500 total. If it happened to me I think they'd charge my insurance close to 100k.

Mom, Dad, sister and niece are here for the surgery. And now so is Old Grandad.

Got to hosp and they said they wanted $12,000 up front, not the $2625 they quoted me. What is wrong with people?

Dupree told them to shove it & went to apologize to the surgeon. In the midst of the drama, the hosp agreed to take a check for 10% and he went to the OR.

It took 6 plates and 25 screws to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Taz had his DA-ordered psych eval. Passed with flying colors. Did he just lie through his teeth? Do I care?

SSB flipped OUT when he checked Bunny's mouth. "OMIGOD! OMIGOD! Her tooth!" Laughed my @$$ off when he fished out a white Nerd.

In 1 yr of speech therapy, Snick has only mastered 1 R sound but brings his homework back to the therapist all checked off. I didn't even know he HAD speech homework.

I liked Dupree's surgeon so much I'm taking Bman to him for his snoring. Surgery scheduled for next week.

Got a call from Taz's probation officer that he is being charged. We have not been served.

Reg mtg for Taz and Pootie for HS next year. Taz is taking the same electives as Pootie & therefore steam is coming out of her ears & totally making my hair go flat.

Forgot about summer swimming program reg at the pool where Bugaboo works. They took a blank check w/them but now Pootie is too shy to stand in line by herself while Bugaboo is working.

At dinner with geeks from SSB's work. So this is what it feels like to be suicidal.

Pootie just greased up her guinea pig with udder cream. I read that it helps. Gross.

Even grosser is a greasy dead guinea pig in the cage this morning. Pretty sure it wasn't because of the udder cream.

Bman just drank his "silly juice" before surgery. When I brought up his Jedi jammies he jumped up and started swinging an imaginary light saber.

We still haven't been served. Probation officer never seemed too much on the ball. Maybe she got her juveniles mixed up.

Am up at 1 a.m. with Bunny. She can't breathe and we're giving her breathing treatments around the clock.

Took Bunny to the dr this morning for more breathing treatments but they are admitting her to the hosptial.

We've been at the hospital for a few hours now and Bunny has pushed the nurse call button 4 times despite my admonishments to not touch the red one.

And that's where I am now. Yeah. Here's the thing. 2009 was supposed to be BETTER. This doesn't feel like better.





(OK. Some of these are too long to actually be on Twitter, but I'm too tired to actually count the characters and shorten any fake Tweets that are over 140.)