Not Enough Hands to Scratch It All

Have you ever woken up in the morning or from a really good nap and gone about your usual business and then really weird things started to happen? Really bizarre things like a flock of of crows flying through your house or your kids turning into the cast of "Friends" before your eyes and you realize, "Oh. I didn't really get up yet. I'm still asleep." That's freaky but when it keeps happening over and over and you end up screaming at yourself "Just get up! Move your feet. Move something!! Please wake up!" then that's when it gets a little too weird.

Well anyway. That kinda happened to me this morning except opposite. I really was awake and sitting up but I couldn't open my eyes. Like at all. Either one of them. I have pink eye, compliments of Bunny and it sucks.

As if that's not bad enough, I also have poison ivy on my arm AND a yeast infection. I was going to post of picture of the poison ivy too but then my OCD would kick in and I'd feel obligated to post one of the yeast infection and my arms aren't long enough to take a picture like that. It would be like trying to shoot yourself in the head with a rifle. You have to pull the trigger with your toe.

I am one big mass of grossness and BeeMan is having his birthday party at Chuck E Cheeses today. Although my disdain for that place runs deep, not even I would stoop so low and do this to myself on purpose to get out of going. I actually feel bad about it. If it were outside somewhere I'd just keep sunglasses on the whole time. Texas women wear their sunglasses year-round even if its cloudy. They just love their sunglasses. So I could get away with it I bet. Eh. Who cares. Chuck E's is a veritable cesspool of bacteria anyway. Screw it. I'm goin'!