If This is 40 . . .

. . . what am I going to be like at 80?

Last night I was coming down the stairs and shutting down my laptop at the same time. I stopped on the landing to close the last program and then started walking again. I used to be so good at multi-tasking. Not so much anymore, I guess, because I wasn't really on the landing - I was a stair or two up and proceeded to walk right off like Wile E. Coyote walking off a cliff. Only I didn't hang in midair and hold up a sign like ol' Wile E. would. I went straight down on my right foot, toes first, flipping the toenail and then the big toe back. Oh. My. Grossness.

This is the second time in my life this nail has been sacrificed on the alter of pain to the podiatry gods. The first time I was about 10 years old and shared a room with my sister. One day she thought she'd sneak up, throw open the door and scare me. Little did she know I was standing right on the other side of the door brushing my long 70's hair in the full-length 70's mirror we had mounted on it. Right after my mom pulled it off with a pair of tweezers I tied a piece of red yarn around my bedpost to remind myself to be a hermit when I grew up.

I woke up this morning and my toes were stuck together from all the blood and gore that had oozed out during the night. Of course I took a picture or two for blogging purposes. Go ahead and click on those bad boys and get a good look. But pay no attention to my grown-out pedicure. That alone is enough to scare you.
As you can see, the top of my foot is bruised. I don't know if my toe is injured or not. My whole foot could be crushed and it would be nothing to me compared to the nail being loose. I get REALLY sickened by loose nails. I think I'm all right though because I can hobble around on it by walking on the side of my foot. But I am used to that due to the whole 1986 Fantastic Frostbite Fiasco that caused me to walk on the sides of my feet for a very, very long time.

Just to nauseate you further, the dog keeps coming and licking it and flies keep landing on it.

A few weeks ago SSB dropped a big, huge heavy thing on one of his middle toes and it was SO gross and he was in a lot of pain. Why, oh WHY, didn't I give him more sympathy and attention???

I've now blogged about my pink eye, my black and blue butt and finally this. Head to toe. I've covered it all now, right?

You know, I think Rock Band 2 would make my toe feel much better. Much.