Crying Buckets

If anyone is in the mood for a good cry, click here to go to the Queen B's blog for today. Its the sweetest thing ever. But sad too.

Good News and Bad

The good news first.

SSB called the urgent care last night and told them what an undesirable, non-compliant patient I am and how the crutches really didn't mesh with my baby-schlepping lifestyle and asked for an orthopedic boot instead and happily they gave him one. Yay. This is much easier.

Bad news is that the shirt didn't work and I did NOT stay 39 Forever. Oh No.

4 For 40

After limping around for 5 days and screwing up my back in the process I decided it was time to get my foot checked out last night. SSB took me to the urgent care up the street. They are doing some remodeling. I think they are adding an ArtistMommy wing. ;)

Anyway. They took some x-rays and when the doctor came back in after looking at them he was kind of chuckling to himself. The top of my big toe is broken in four pieces. "Shattered" he said. I don't see what's so funny. We got to see the x-rays as we were leaving and one of the breaks is a whole chip on the side. He gave me some crutches even though I wanted a boot. I am not using them. How am I going to hang on to Bunny through the parking lot when I take BeeMan to the dentist this afternoon if I'm on crutches??? A boot would be so much easier. Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me??

Today's the last day of my 30's. Or is it????

If This is 40 . . .

. . . what am I going to be like at 80?

Last night I was coming down the stairs and shutting down my laptop at the same time. I stopped on the landing to close the last program and then started walking again. I used to be so good at multi-tasking. Not so much anymore, I guess, because I wasn't really on the landing - I was a stair or two up and proceeded to walk right off like Wile E. Coyote walking off a cliff. Only I didn't hang in midair and hold up a sign like ol' Wile E. would. I went straight down on my right foot, toes first, flipping the toenail and then the big toe back. Oh. My. Grossness.

This is the second time in my life this nail has been sacrificed on the alter of pain to the podiatry gods. The first time I was about 10 years old and shared a room with my sister. One day she thought she'd sneak up, throw open the door and scare me. Little did she know I was standing right on the other side of the door brushing my long 70's hair in the full-length 70's mirror we had mounted on it. Right after my mom pulled it off with a pair of tweezers I tied a piece of red yarn around my bedpost to remind myself to be a hermit when I grew up.

I woke up this morning and my toes were stuck together from all the blood and gore that had oozed out during the night. Of course I took a picture or two for blogging purposes. Go ahead and click on those bad boys and get a good look. But pay no attention to my grown-out pedicure. That alone is enough to scare you.
As you can see, the top of my foot is bruised. I don't know if my toe is injured or not. My whole foot could be crushed and it would be nothing to me compared to the nail being loose. I get REALLY sickened by loose nails. I think I'm all right though because I can hobble around on it by walking on the side of my foot. But I am used to that due to the whole 1986 Fantastic Frostbite Fiasco that caused me to walk on the sides of my feet for a very, very long time.

Just to nauseate you further, the dog keeps coming and licking it and flies keep landing on it.

A few weeks ago SSB dropped a big, huge heavy thing on one of his middle toes and it was SO gross and he was in a lot of pain. Why, oh WHY, didn't I give him more sympathy and attention???

I've now blogged about my pink eye, my black and blue butt and finally this. Head to toe. I've covered it all now, right?

You know, I think Rock Band 2 would make my toe feel much better. Much.

More from the mind of Snick

"What do you think would happen if humans were the only living thing in the world?"

and

"What do you think would happen if the earth was controlled by something inside the earth?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like if there was a big display in a country that had like a sponge or a donut or something and all of the earth and space and beyond was in it or on it and if someone came and ate it we’d basically be in him. And if he got sick then we’d get thrown up probably."

That kind of seemed like two different things to me. The explanation seemed like it went with a different question but I just asked, "Why would someone eat a donut that was on display?"

"Well I’m guessing he’d be a hobo or something and it was the security guard’s night off."

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Thursday is his turn to say the prayer at dinner. This was tonight's:

"Dear Lord, thank you for this food Mom made for us and I pray that we get our chores done quick so we can go out and play again. Amen."

Working Out Was Never So Easy

With only 12 weeks left until SSB and I go to the Cayman Islands with our friends M & V, it is time to get serious about getting in shape. Apparently the imminent arrival of my 40th birthday has not been enough of a motivator . . . but being in a swimsuit for one week solid hopefully will be. This means less eating and more exercising because bulimia is a lot harder to develop than you'd think.

I've read that keeping a food diary is key to weight loss. My sister told me about fitday.com a while ago and I've used it from time to time but not consistently enough to do much good. SSB and I logged on today and started the ball rolling.

It isn't just a food log, they have EVERYTHING!! You can put in weight and nutrition goals and track your mood, weight, measurements, and activities and it will spit out graphs and reports. My favorite part is where you put in how many minutes you participated in an activity and it will tell you how many calories it burned. And they have TONS of activities in there. You can even put in taking a shower and toweling off. This is IN ADDITION TO the basic calories you burn just by being alive. Score! I never realized that good hygiene was an exercise.

I'm all for keeping track of how many calories I burned and not so much on what I ate. Like I popped a few of Bunny's wheat-free pretzels in my mouth but I'm not gonna tell fitday about it. And if I did I would probably tell them it was 3, not 12. However, if I talked on the phone while standing for 10 minutes that would definitely get recorded.

This morning I started scouring the different categories looking for anything I could count as exercise. I skipped all the Walking, Running, Biking, and Fishing and Hunting categories because that would just be a waste of my time. Ditto for the Water and Winter activities. I knew I didn't go snow shoeing yet today. My pot of gold was lying in the Miscellaneous (reading while sitting) and Inactivity (watching TV while sitting quietly) and Home (reclining with baby) categories.

That Home category is my best bet. Just the "carrying small child" and "putting away household items" activities are going to take up most of my minutes. Listen to all the stuff you do every day that you can record as fat busters: vacuuming, watering plants, mopping, child care, elder care, cleaning house or cabin (cleaning a trailer or houseboat apparently doesn't get you squat), washing dishes, washing the dog, playing with children and animals (those are separate but they burn the same amount in case you're wondering), knitting, and making a bed just to name a few. Its awesome. According to this marvelous website I am a calorie burning MACHINE!! (My thighs tell a different story but I'm not listening to that one.)

Admittedly, I don't do a lot of knitting so that one is probably out. And there are others in that category that I will also not be participating in, although I'm sure they just melt the fat away. These include maple syruping/sugar bushing, cooking Indian bread on an outdoor stove and butchering animals.

What the?? How did those categories even make it onto the list? I'm thinking the only people who routinely go sugar bushing and cook bread outside and butcher animals are Quakers, Amish and Mennonites and they don't even have computers to track their activities on anyway. I think some list-compiling employee over at fitday needs to have a little more supervision.

I'm going to take advantage of all the other ridiculous ones though. Playing cards, food shopping with or without a cart, and changing a light bulb are all getting written down. Oh, and they don't have playing Rock Band on there but they do have a whole category for music playing and I'm thinking its just the same thing so I should be a size 3 in no time.

Due to interruptions it has taken me 2 full hours to blog this relatively short post. And that, my friends, is an easy 210 calories burned.